Dive Deep into A Heavy Weighted Topic...

 WRITTEN 1/30/23

It has been a month since I started physical therapy in hopes of finding some ways to incorporate working out into my daily routine. It has been 7 months (June 2022) since I last was able to do a full workout. 

My first initial meeting with the therapist brought tears of frustration and sadness to my eyes. After talking and explaining the reasons why I chose to be referred I was told one of two things. First, the therapist was honest with me and told me that they did not feel like they could do anything for me in the long term. Second, the way my body responded to the physical tests just baffled the therapist. Everything you would do for someone with a spasm or spasticity did not work for me. They were racking at their brain trying to understand the pattern of my spasm and connect my story to what they would visually see. I too had to be honest with the physical therapist. I knew that coming in and asking for help would not be the cure and problem solver. I just want to find some exercises that I could tolerate and start using as a resource to let go of stress. I want to return to dance and be able to run or jump once again. 

Sickling in dance, which is my pet peeve, but I cannot help it. This is the start of a complete leg lock for me. 

It has been 4 sessions which one of them was an assessment session. That being said let's count it as only 3 complete sessions. The first full session was the toughest because we were really working hard to find what I could and could not do. It has been getting easier, but my body sure feels like I have been run over by a train most of the time. We have found some really interesting things about the way my body currently responds to movement. Many of these things are really mind blowing especially the most recent discovery. These little discoveries have helped guide me and even give some relief with minimal spasms. I am truly thankful for the little break and the small accomplishments. 

DISCOVERIES...

- HOLDING DEEP STRETCHES:  Before and after any little exercise we found that stretching the muscles in specific ways allows me to complete a small set of reps for exercises. An example: Stretching calves and soleus before proceeding to calf raises. 

- INSTANT STRETCHING DURING SPASM:  Once a spasm has been triggered, we found that if I can lay on my stomach and bring my foot to my behind (Like a flamingo) and hold the stretch until the muscles relax, I can stop a painful episode. Most of the time I can return to the exercise I was doing after that. 

- 45 DEGREE ANGLE:  Most of the time my leg begins its spasm when I activate the leg muscles to pick my foot up. Once my foot reaches a 45-degree angle then it locks up. We have tried to do a warmup with the exercise bike and row machine (which I love the most) but anytime my leg is presented with the 45-degree angle we see an onset of symptoms. This is really noticeable as I try to step forward while walking. Most of the time I end up dragging my foot so I can continue moving forward. 

- WEIGHT: MIND BLOWING DISCOVERY:  After lots of deep conversations and thinking about it I realized that when I walk by myself most of the time my MS symptoms are present. When I am walking around holding my son (30lbs), I do not have any symptoms. After a few experiments with weights versus no weights we found that holding weights of 25-30lbs while doing step ups that I did not spaz out. It would be an instant relief even after triggering a spasm. Anything that was lower than 20lbs I would have to do a few repetitions before it would release. We even tried 30lbs with a jump. YES! I JUMPED! with no problems. The joke was that I would be seen walking around town carrying weights. My physical therapy sessions were not just focused on my leg but also arms. I am going to be SO STRONG. I bought an adjustable weighted vest that has been amazing for the exercises I have been given. When I am spasming I just go lift up the vest and stand for a few seconds and HOCUS POCUS I'm DONE spasming. My physical therapist said it has to be something with my sensory neurons. Another note is that it has to be pressing down on my shoulders. Check Out the Video Below...

My physical therapist and his team have been very supportive and open to this whole journey. We are ALL shocked and amazed that we are finding more positive outcomes when we all knew that this was going to be a rough. I know that we are only at day 4 but I had to share my excitement. Again, it is not a cure, but it gives me hope once again that I got this. It will be a lot of trial and error, but I am thankful for the love and support from everyone.

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BREAKING NEWS: 

I TOOK A TAP CLASS!!! On Monday January 30th, 2023, I had the opportunity to step back on the dance floor and put my dancing feet to the test. We took my weighted vest that was prepped with about 26lbs. I strapped the vest on as snug as possible and stepped up to the dance floor where I was able to finally tap. I made it through class with a few exercises I could not do but majority of the steps I was able to get through. I had to take the weighted vest off 15 minutes before class ended so I could get some relief. The weight feels good but once you start getting your heart rate up and working leg/foot muscles you haven't used in 6+ months you find yourself hurting a bit. I am thankful that I was able to be in class once again and that we have a starting point. It will be a work in progress, and it feels like weight has been lifted off my shoulders even though it is the other way around (weight added). My goal is to be able to perform onstage at the local dance studio recital in June 2023. I may have to wear a weighted vest with my costume, but I am ready to do what I love to do. DANCE. 

I chose to NOT GIVE UP!

I AM ME!

I will continue to GROW!

I am STRONG!

I can LIVE my DREAMS!

#RENITASTRONG

I am the INEVITABLE MS DEFYER

WATCH ME!!!