The Importance Of Knowing Your Why...

 Written January 18, 2019

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What is it SO important for you to know your why? 

I have connected with a fellow MS warrior via Instagram who is giving me an opportunity to share my insight on what makes me stay so positive in the darkest of days. I didn't realize how much of an impact my positive attitude made until I was given this task to share my secrets for happiness with a chronic disease. 

Being diagnosed with a chronic disease can be frightening, upsetting and at times you are not sure what to feel. The first 3 months of being diagnosed with MS were so depressing. I was recovering from a flare up, trying to understand what exactly Multiple Sclerosis is, and trying my hardest to keep my head up high so no one would know what I was going through. I kept thinking to myself that things would not get better, my fear took control of my thoughts, and my anxiety grew stronger. It was to the point that any little look or comment from individuals pushed me over the limit. All I could see from the facial expressions on individuals was how much of a coward I was. I was trying to hide my diagnosis from everyone but that just kept putting more pressure on my shoulders and even more on my family who were affected by the diagnosis as well. 

It took a second MRI showing more lesions and the uncertainty of the doctor that my medication may not be working that made me rethink what I wanted out of my life. We were scheduled for a follow up MRI 3 months later. At that moment, I turned to my husband and made a decision to make a change. I chose from that moment that I was going to have a plan, and intention to better my health. "I want to live a long, healthy life." My husband and I decided as a family to begin eating healthy (fruits, vegetables, etc.), exercise daily, keep things as easy as possible and be a drama free home. Sounds easy right?! Well so far it has been a success. In the 3 months waiting period I began to feel more like myself. I was feeling stronger, stable and in less pain than I had been 4 years prior. I slowly returned to dance and began to participate in more activities instead of giving an excuse of why I was not attending. When I finally returned for the MRI to identify the progression of my MS, I was ready for the worst but in reality, we got positive news. My MRI showed no new or active lesions which meant that the life change along with the medication were working. It was the best news that I have heard in such a long time. That was enough of a positive push to motivate me to continue with this journey. It relieved the stress upon my shoulders and began to give my family and friends HOPE.

Support from my family and friends keep me positive as well. It is hard to see the positive views when all you do is think about the negative things in life. I work to better myself because of my loved ones. They inspire me to continue fighting no matter what kind of day it will be. I spend the first part of my morning while getting ready thinking of three things that I am grateful for whether it is just getting out of bed or telling my husband that I love him. My mirror in the bathroom has positive sayings on it that I read daily. I tend to change those sayings every month. I no longer have a fear of what my future would hold because I have the encouragement, strength and faith from my source of love which is FAMILY (no matter who that might be). We as human beings surround ourselves with likeminded individuals. You can do amazing stuff as an individual but when you work with others the changes are altered by the strengths and weaknesses of all the individuals. Everyone in the community works together to embrace the change and add encouragement where it is needed. 

Community is the reason why I am so passionate about talking, blogging and raising awareness about MS. It has allowed me to express who I am along with jotting down my random thoughts. I will continue to work towards living a healthier lifestyle and learn to adapt when I need to. I can do what everyone else does but in my own and unique way. 

I challenge YOU, no matter what you may be struggling with... What is your why?

Feel free to comment below or email (larsen.renita@gmail.com). I would love to chat with you and support you through your journey as many of you do for me.  

• If you want to learn more about identifying your why? Check out "The Brain Warriors" by Daniel G. Amen MD & Tana Amen, BSN, RN. This is a great book to help you sort out what it is that ignites your passion for life.